Assalamualaikum,

So yaa today I feel emotional. Again.  As always, overthinking sucks. So just read this if u want to. Im tired of being so nice to other people. I don’t even care abt myself anymore. My feelings. Only Allah knows how hurt it is when youre being nice and u sacrifice so much thing for them, and they just cant see it. Im being nice to everyone eventhough they hurt my feelings before. And I still can accept them as friends. Idk if I can call them friends bcs  a friend should know how to appreciate u. I don’t ask for a expensive gift for my birthday, treat me or something. I just want them to appreciate me for who I am. Accept my flaws. Don’t ask me to be someone else. Don’t tell me to do this and that just bcs I don’t say anything. I keep my mouth shut and just do anything they say bcs theyre my friend. And ofc I don’t wanna lose them. I love them so much.  we know each other for many years. I thought they know me well but im wrong. they always do what they want.  They think that their opinion is always right. The way they treat me was right. But seriously theyre not. I always say that im done. I had enough. I say to myself that I shouldn’t care bcs theyre just my friend and theyre not so important to me. But I just cant stop thinking abt how my friends treat me. I keep figure out how can I be a good friend to everyone.  I treat them like my own family. They always say “stay by my side no matter what okay?” and I did. But they don’t do the same thing when I need them. They told me not to push them away. But then, theyre the one who pushed me away.  Let me get this thing clear, I really want to have someone who I can call them friends. You know, a good friend. The one who will stay by my side through thick & thin, the one who understand me more than I do (im kinda weird & I know it) ,  the one who will appreciate me for my kindness, the one who accept my flaws and always try to fix things together when something goes wrong and the most important thing is being honest to me. I know im quite demanding but yeah everyone wanna feel appreciated sometimes right? I know im not perfect enough to ask for a perfect friends like i said before. But at least try to understand me. Think. Don’t be so selfish.. Don’t expect me to text u first all the time. U don’t even talk to me.. Then u suddenly say I don’t care abt u???  im tired enough to deal with all this crap. They look for me only when they need something from me. As u know people change. Although when they say they’ll not. I know everyone will leave sooner or later. So I just need to care less abt what people do and think abt me and just focus on my life. I have goals. And you know what? everyone has their own limits. So just live your life happily and stop care abt what people think about you. The most important things is what Allah think abt u. be a good muslim and youll be just fine. Take note dearself.  Best friend are hard to find nowadays. But Im grateful now that I met gkd and have them by my side. Always. InsyaALLAH. 

theres a lot grammar error mianhae hahaha bye